C'mon! They'll Rip Your Face Off!!!!

February 17, 2011

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this before, but James, my five-year-old, is ridiculously picky about the shirts he'll wear. Basically, if it doesn't have something super fierce and obnoxiously gigantic screen-printed on the front, he won't take a second glance.

Luckily, this doesn't pose too much of a problem in the warmer months when Spider Man t-shirts and Lego BatMan tank tops flow like wine. But I'll tell ya, dressing my kid on Sundays and during these cold winter months might be enough to do me in.

It's not a rare morning when James shows up in the kitchen wearing a Star Wars t-shirt over a thick, winter sweater. And this past Sunday, he actually came downstairs wearing a super nice church outfit--khakis, a belt, a tie, a white button-down--with a BumbleBee golf shirt on top of it all. I actually thought it looked pretty dope. I was definitely cool with his outfit choice. However, for reasons unbeknownst to me, Jared most certainly wasn't.

He opted to take on the good fight in the name of reverence, respect, and Jesus.

Better him than me.

Now I know what you're thinking: Amy, why don't you just buy the kid some sweatshirts with crap printed on the front? And some super hero ties?

Well let me tell you why I won't. Because we have enough hand-me-downs to keep this child covered through college. If there's any money getting spent on clothes, you'd better believe that shiz'll be hanging in my closet.


This morning, Jared thought he'd found a way to completely avoid the daily outfit fiasco--a long sleeved shirt with a bear printed on the front.

No dice.

You know, since the bear couldn't fly, or run faster than the speed of sound, or navigate a spaceship--basically, since the bear is a naturally occurring entity--James refused to wear the shirt.

Finally, after a full five minutes of back and forth between my husband and my kid, I knelt down, looked James bang in the eye and said, "Listen bud, bears rip peoples' faces off ALL THE TIME. EVERY SINGLE DAY. That's cool. Now wear the damn shirt."

And he did.

The End.


Mrs. Potts said...

Hi. Lar. Ious.

About the church thing, I have a friend who is a single mom of a 4-year-old little wild man who is sometimes too much for one adult to handle, so she's gotten creative. They have a reverence cape. As long as he is reverent at church, he gets to wear the cape. I think it's AWESOME. We should all wear reverence capes. It would make sacrament meeting so much more entertaining. I mean, can't you imagine the bishop up there conducting with his cape on??

snugglebugs said...

You are fantastic. Just so you know.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Potts - that's such a great story! I totally wish I had a reverence cape. I wonder if I could come up with something similar for the classroom...

Amy - good strategy!

Andrea said...

I just have to say awesome!

Morgan Hagey said...

That'll do it. :)

NorahS said...

I would like to nominaty you for Mother of the Year!

Karen said...

I have to admire a child who likes wearing clothes with animals that will "RIP YOUR FACE OFF!"

Grandma said...

they rip people's faces off...now get dressed.yup, sounds like something James would respond to:)