I'm Not Boring, Day 3: Small Town Living

September 2, 2011

I tried to post this yesterday, I swear I did. But my internet connection is just about as reliable as my diet plans.

Okay, so...

I live in a town without a stop light. Well, we actually have one blinking light--but the whole red, yellow, green thing? Not so much. There's a total of nine towns in our region, and if you add 'em all up, we have one stop light between all of us.

Honestly, I'm not sure if the no stop light thing makes me more average or more unique than most Americans, but usually when my non-neighbors hear about my state of living, they're all "Whaaaaaa? You don't have intersections???"

We definitely have intersections...hundreds of 'em, actually...we just don't have enough cars to make the intersections busy.

Now I shouldn't paint a picture that we live in a homemade log cabin in the middle of the wilderness. We're actually within fifteen miles of a Target and a TJ Maxx--and you totally go through a stoplight to get there. But a mall? I don't know, I think the closest mall is about seventy-five miles down the only highway in the state. And now that I think about it, I haven't been inside any mall since early 2009.

I totally, completely understand how this could feel confining to people, but for me, it's a total perfect fit. If anything, I'd like to live a little farther from town--maybe get some animals, and a milking pail, and a field full of dandelions, and giant boobs. (Giant boobs are awesomely appropriate for city or county living.)

Here's one example why:

Organic Sunflowers--not that I'm planning to chew and swallow these flowers, but organic farming is better for the environment no matter what you're growing. So seriously, how much do you think Whole Foods would charge for four organic sunflowers that are bigger than my [freakishly ginormous] head? I'm thinking $12 maybe? $13.99?

Well, up here in the middle of Maine, I paid fifty cents a piece. FIFTY CENTS A PIECE! I bought them from an unmanned bucket on the side of the road and put my money in a yogurt container. I love that. It's just so stinkin' sweet. And someday, when I find out that my kid dared someone to steal all the money from the yogurt container so they could buy thirteen Snickers at the gas station, I'll kill him.


Team O'Connor said...

I love country living and can't wait to have 100 acres in Kentucky and grow alfalfa or something. I used to put about 10 watermelons on a cart at the end of our long ass driveway in Oregon with a container that said $5 a watermelon. I'm pretty sure I got ripped off a few times but I was 14 so even $10 was like winning the lottery.

Mindy said...

Those giant sunflowers are awesome, AND they kind of look like giant boobs there, so they're multi-functional. And at 50 cents a pop? I'd buy a ton!

I want to live there... it sounds perfect, except, like you, I'd probably like to live even a little further out.

Chelsea said...

Those sunflowers are awesome and I wish I could find some by my house! I live in a tiny little town with no stoplights either. Not even a blinking light! And I'm only about 15 miles north of downtown Seattle. The mall (and Target, thank goodness) is about 4 miles away but for some reason my town is stuck in 1950 ;).

Karen said...

It sounds lovely....and I love visiting Maine....but you have no ocean where you are?

Morgan Hagey said...

I love small town life. I can't wait to get me some. :)

Tari Anne said...

So...I used to live in your neck of woods but I do love my Dallas city-living. Or should I say...Frisco city-living. We live about a mile from the Ikea. It's possible they have freakishly big (fake) sunflowers in Ikea for .50. Maybe not. But they do have yummy affordable Swedish meatballs.

BrianFlash said...

The county I grew up in had one blinking red light - in a town that I didn't live in. I wouldn't trade growing up there for growing up in the city at all.

Of course now I live in suburbia and don't have an issue with that at all!

Scrappy_Lady said...

Awesome sunflowers. But, um, is the blue cardigan no longer being worn?